For one day per week that my niece and nephew are off school for the holidays I have to look after them. Last week it was half term and this time I thought I'd record everything that happened. The results will probably bore you. Names of my niece and nephew have been shortened to their first initial.
9:30 - Babysitting on less than 4 hours sleep. B and J are currently more coherent than I am and can respond more quickly to questions
than I can. Coffee has been made and Narnia 3 is on. I ask if we can stick a
different film on because Narnia is shite but I get told to "Move out the
way, we're watching this,".
9:51 - I'm bored. J is eating cereal straight
out of the box and B is drawing in her diary
without taking her eyes off the tv screen...multitasking at its finest.
10:00 - Walk into kitchen to see if there's any
eggs to make buns with. No. My sister hasn't left them any dinner either. Last time
this happened I got -
Me: J, what do you want in your sandwich?
Cheese?
J: I don't like cheese.
Me: Yeah, you do. I've seen you eat it.
J: I don't want cheese.
10 mins later. Enter Granddad.
Granddad: I'll make J's. J what do you want in
your sandwich?
J: Cheese.
10:14 - Minor dispute over who's cup is whose. Over
in seconds when B snaps at J. J backs down. He knows what will happened
if he pursues it any further and since we're both scared of her, I remain
quiet as well.
10:29 - Second coffee. Narnia 3 is still on and is
still shite. Nearly dislocate my jaw yawning.
10:35 - The dvd has started to jump.
10:44 - B is now eating rice crispies from the
box and is puzzled as to why there is already a spoon inside. I'm contemplating
whether or not to introduce them to "the bowl".
11.01 - They've both got a bow and are now looking
for arrows. I blame Narnia 3...which is still jumping. Thankfully, arrows
haven't been found.
11:08 - Narnia 3 has finished. Wahey. We spend the
next ten mins looking for the walnut whip I left last night. It's like an
Easter egg hunt but with a walnut whip.
11:23 - I make them a ham sandwich each.
11:25 - They've both eaten the ham and left the
bread.
11:34 - Granddad has eaten walnut whip. J gives him a
bollocking. Mwhahaha, my minions.
12:06 - Setting off for garage. Walking down black
path or what we affectionately call "Dog shit alley".
12:26 - Reach garage. Buy two slushes, both have
red and blue slush.
12:35 - I give them a lecture on the dangers of
drink driving as we walk to my cousin's house. A bit premature for a 7 + 8 year old maybe,
but, oh well.
12:42 - Reach my cousin's house.
12:50 - Watching the skiing. J repeatedly shouts
"Wack it!!!" everytime a skier nears a pole. I'm then out witted by
the said 7 year old when he tell us that it's the French that are skiing and I
ask him how he knows they're not UK (they're wearing the same colours) when he
points to bottom of the screen and says, "Look...FRA".
1:30 - Leave cousin's house. J jumps over a "mud
pud" and somebody needs the toilet, so I have to mince all the way back.
1:48 - B wants cake. J wants the star
decorations off the cake and cheese. They're playing on the dining room table.
B has suddenly adopted an American accent.
2:09 - They're playing Gladiators/Lord of the
Rings. I daren't move for fear of getting my ears clipped by plastic swords.
2:25 - It's oh so quiet...Spongebob is on.
2:35 - Coffee number 3. B's on Minecraft building
a house under water with blue bricks. Hmmm...
2:44 - B: I made this blue thing and I've looked
everywhere but I don't know where it is.
3:09 - Just eaten two walnut whips. Feel sick. Is
it home time yet?
4:07 - Spongbob is still on. I asked B and J if
it's alright if I fall asleep. They said yes, of course it is. Who's looking
after who here?
4:32 - I'm free.
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